Vision is having a picture of what you want to be in future, where you want to be or who you want to be. Myles Munroe of blessed memory said “when the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable”.
The place of vision in a relationship cannot be over-emphasized. If God has a purpose for your marriage—and I believe He does—then vision is letting God reveal to you what that purpose is. It’s asking, “God, why did you put us together?” and listening for the answer.
Part of knowing what you want involves asking yourself questions that will help you pinpoint and visualize what it is you’re actually looking for.
Most couples spend a year planning their wedding but no time planning their marriage. Having a vision provides us direction to reach our destination and helps us focus our energy to get there. Without it, we may feel aimless, chaotic, and empty. This is especially true with marriage.
A lot of couples get married and assume the relationship will take care of itself. Sooner or later they realize that it is not so easy. They had entered the marriage with their own unconscious ideas of how their relationship would be, with separate desires, dreams, values, and needs.
Whether or not you have already woken up to the reality that some degree of conflict is inevitable in relationships, it is essential for you to co-create a conscious shared vision.
Some others walk into marriage without a clear cut vision on how to make it work, or rather on what they need to do to make it work. A successful marriage is hard work; it takes a conscious effort from both parties in order to have successful relationships. An excellent marriage takes effort. Some couples have even envisaged failure before they venture into marriage. That’s so disheartening. If you don’t see a successful marriage, you can’t seize/ experience it. The future you don’t picture, you can’t feature in it .
Proverbs 29:18 says, ‘Where there is no vision, the people perish.’ The word ‘vision’ there means ‘mental sight – the ability to see a goal or a destination.’ When you don’t have a clear vision of where you’re going, it’s impossible to stay together. If you have no idea about your destination, then how do you know when you’ve arrived? How do you know when you’re on the wrong path? The point is, you don’t know.”
Amos 3:3 contains a vital message that applies to married couples. It says, “Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?” Often a couple will marry without first discussing important topics, such as money, sex, children, employment, etc. When these issues surface later in the relationship, couples may find their views differ greatly. The resulting tension and arguments place unnecessary strain on a marriage relationship.
According to Jimmy Evans, when you have a clear vision for your marriage, first of all it brings unity into the marriage. You first agree. But you have to have a vision in order to agree. If one person has one vision and another person has another vision, it might be that you shouldn’t get married, because you’re going two different directions and there’s going to be a constant battle. You need to have a vision that brings you together in marriage. Where there is a vision, you can yoke together and stay together.”
Again, vision motivates positive behavior. When you have a vision, it naturally motivates you to do the right thing. When you have a vision of success before you, you naturally behave in such a way that causes that to happen. When you have a vision for your finances, when you have a vision for your children, when you have a vision for what your marriage stands for and what it is going to produce in some years time, it automatically propels you to behave in such a way that will bring that about.
Having a vision serves as a form of encouragement to you in times of difficulty. Every couple goes through difficult times. A vision is like a lighthouse on a troubled sea. A vision stands before you, and it is the only stable thing when nothing else is stable. It’s the constant thing when nothing else is constant. When God gives you a vision, He never changes His mind. The great thing about going to the Lord and getting His vision for your marriage is that it’s absolutely stable. You go through a discouraging or difficult time, and that vision stays before you as a motivator and also as a testimony that God has a purpose for your life and relationship.
Where there is no vision, there is division; division here connotes competing vision. Two people cannot walk together unless they’re in agreement.
It is impossible to succeed in marriage when a husband and wife are divided. Rather than both of you having your own way of looking at things, a single vision for your marriage means you both have the same focus. This is essential.
There are three major sources of vision for your marriage; the Word of God, the Holy Spirit and godly examples. God’s Word is the universal place of vision that God has given all of us. When we pray and seek the Holy Spirit for direction, He gives us personalized vision, specific vision. Finally, the third way you can get God’s vision is through godly examples. People don’t succeed by accident. When someone is successful, it’s because they’re doing something right. Use them as your example.
Do you believe you could actually have a successful and enviable relationship? What is your vision for that relationship? The quality of your vision determines the quality of your relationship.